Stop naffhousing the kids!


Well lets expand on the term naff-housing. I am not sure if it is in any dictionary, so in order to keep things professional what I will do is give my personal interpretation of what it means to naff-house.

Naffhouse-pronounced naff house-to treat like or make out as if one is in need of treatment that is unsuitable in terms of age, level of responsibility or calling.

That should do it!

I’ll get back to this but first some background. I am a guys guy, a mans man, but I do have feelings, I love my wife, my son and my God. He has created me to Father and mentor, to be a husband and man who the world needs. To be a bastion of His definition of what He intended men to be. That is what I am aiming for. But let me say at the outset that love never fails, I abhor abuse, detest unfair treatment of children but discipline, true Godly discipline does not even resemble the two.

I love my son with all my heart, yup I said it, heart. If you think using the words ‘love’ and ‘heart’ in the same sentence is a bit squishy, well then, get over it.

I am intending to raise a man who will stand for and where others crumble, a man who speaks the truth when lies and half-truths are safer, a man who will stare into the storm of all that God hates and declare he knows His God, he loves his God and nothing short of God Himself will move him from his resolve to stand for what he believes. That is my goal. God willing I will see this.

I expect much of my son, because I intend that much be given to him. I declare to give him a home and a family that will forever model what God intended both to be. I intend to build into him, pray over him and intercede for him. I will ask God daily for wisdom in raising him, compassion to guide him and grace to handle both his shortcomings and mine.

My son will be nurtured, but he is not only a prince, but a warrior, and that means he will have to learn to fight. I will have to learn which battles to protect him from and which to let him fight, so that he might learn perseverance, resilience, determination, what it feels like to fail and what it means to be victorious.

and remember:

Hebrews 12:11-No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. NIV

Right getting back to my request in the title. My wife works for a Christian school, they follow the biblical model of discipline, laid out over and over again in the bible especially in Proverbs, which deals majorly with wisdom. This leads one to the conclusion that disciplining your child physically is wise. Don’t get all bent out of shape, its written there and not by me, and remember no amount of mental word twisting and interpretation will change the fact that the bible encourages Godly discipline, one aspect of which is physical.

So now, we have Christian schools filled with kids whose parents subscribe to their policies and beliefs only to turn around and threaten them with legal action in the event physical discipline. Yes I know, what about the rights of the child etc. Let me say this, there is no one on this earth who has my sons best interests at heart better than me and my wife, and if you are saying I am doing him a disservice by being for disciplining him in school, at the malls or at home let me put you straight.

I believe that the lack of godly physical correction will be of more damage to him in the long run than alternate forms. And in the long run, his ‘protectors’ will be no where in sight, but I will be here. Don’t tell me it destroys his confidence and security when over the last 2 decades discipline in schools and at home has been on a massive decline and the same people who lacked the discipline are providing us with a wonderful set of statistics in terms of pregnancies, drug and other dependencies, inability to retain employment, violence, apathy and the list goes on.

Am I saying this is due to a decrease in smacked bottoms? No, what I am saying is that we have tried to intellectualise many of Gods prerequisites, and bend them to suit our idea of what is best and fair. We have projected our own issues into our interpretation of the word of God and used them as a way of filtering the truth, and if we are to look at society, ask yourselves the question, have people become more or less secure, more or less confident, are we having more or less moral, social and even criminal issues?

I want my son to go to a school that practices the word of God and not just speaks about it. I want him to be disciplined for his own good, I want him to know that love for him is shown in many ways, one of which is physical correction. Do I like smacking him, no, but I trust God’s word that it will bring much fruit to his life. Shame on the world for turning a Godly principle of correction into something twisted. Stop treating our children as if they are not a royal priesthood, as if they have not got higher callings as if they are not sons and daughters of a most high God. in short stop treating them as if they are worth less than they are. Stop naff-housing them!

Romans 5:3-5-Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.  And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

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3 thoughts on “Stop naffhousing the kids!

  1. Nice one Tom. Such a tough one for parent’s and schools. Can you post some of those verses on physical discipline. I would like to better understand where God stands on the whole thing. Also if we use physical discipline does the bible prescribe how to do it? I always feel terrible after giving seth a hiding and wonder whether i do it in a way that best teaches him something. Would love to hear your thoughts.

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    • Hey Mary,

      Thanks so much for reading the blog. I will put some thought into specific scriptures. I am with you, I absolutely hate giving Liam a smack, and unfortunately we are living in a time where we can’t have a blanket rule that smacking is fine as there are all sorts of funnies out there who believe this is there permission to abuse.

      I believe, and I have had to apologise for getting this wrong, I can’t discipline Liam out of anger, whether verbally or physically. If I do, I am using discipline as an outlet instead of a tool to guide, correct and prevent possible future harm to him.

      The foundation always has to be love, everything is done or should be done in a way that doesn’t shame, bring down or cause harm. Afterwards there is a time of telling him we love him and that we don’t want him to act that way because he is too special and God has such great plans for him, even though he is as young as he is.

      The discipline should be appropriate to the lesson needing to be learnt and age appropriate.

      Get the Paradox Principle of Parenting by James R. Lucas for an interesting read.

      I will follow up with some scripture references.

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  2. Hey Carla,

    Thanks so much for taking the time to read my blog. Its so great to hear your thoughts and how passionate you are in your belief.

    I don’t get to say whether you are right or wrong, you love your kids, and in the world today that is number one. Have you read my 2 latest blogs “Its not about smacking”? That pretty well defines what we believe and where we are coming from. I would love to here your thoughts behind why you feel the way you do, we have friends with the same resolve and would love to better understand their position.

    Also check out Dawns blog, dawnjordi.wordpress.com, I’m really proud of her and what she’s done.

    Please keep reading the blog, I am trusting God to reveal some awesome truths through my writing as this is such a passion of mine. Also, have a look at “a day in the life of Dad” to keep up to date with us, I try add a small bit every day or so.

    Love us

    We can’t wait to see you guys again!

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