The Unsung Hero!

hero_SqaureWEBI remember several years ago, sitting in my first adoption class, learning, discovering, being challenged and without my knowing, having my path severely altered.

I also remember the group being asked to give our thoughts on birth moms. Quick as a cat I rememb shuffling my position to one of complete ignorance and judgement. The exact words escape me but my position was based on judging a mom who could give away her child because I could never do that. Thankfully, the lady leading us was skillfully able to highlight the errors in my position in a way that simultaneously  corrected my mindset and convicted me to be part of the solution.

Of course I couldn’t relate, of course I could never have given up my first-born, but then again, I never had to! I never stared into the dark only to have fear look back at me, I never viewed my wives pregnancy as anything other than a joy. I never had my dreams shattered over a period of 9 months, I never was abandoned to live out the consequences of my decisions, or perhaps abandoned to live out the consequences of someone elses choices on my body. I never endured ridicule at the possibility of having to drop out of school, to explain to people why I didn’t use protection or couldn’t say no.

The truth is, I don’t know your pain. I don’t know what you went through and I have no idea how hard your choice must have been. All I know is that I have a son and a daughter who’s eye’s testify to your strength and sacrifice, their smiles tell a story of hope, a hope that was made possible through your strength and hope for them.

At any moment you could have checked out, given up, chosen you. In secret you would have suffered, but you would have released yourself from what must have been a burden unimaginable to most. I am thankful for you!

Because of you, I have purpose, because of you my son has a smile that brightens any darkness imaginable. Because of you I have a daughter who inspires and challenges me to be everything she needs and deserves. Because of you, we have a voice as a family and because of you, others will be given a voice as well. Because of your prison, freedom was given, because of your pain, healing will be felt and because of your sacrifice, generations will be blessed.

Your tears have been turned into our joy and we are eternally grateful. You chose the road less travelled, you picked a heavy burden and watched over my little ones when I was not able to. Thank You! Thank you for being my little girls hero, for saving her! Thank you for fighting for my little boy, teaching him what it means to be a warrior, before I could stand with him in battle. Thank You!

With Mother’s day on Sunday, I want to say thank you to birth mom’s. Thank you for your sacrifice, for not giving up on our children, for giving them a fighting chance. You are the first superhero they ever knew!

2 thoughts on “The Unsung Hero!

  1. Thomas what a wonderful post! As a social worker I have the utmost respect for birth mommies. In my eyes they are some if not the most courageous people. They absolutely are in check with their reality, humble in aadmitting that they are at the end of their rope, and they completely make a decision in the best interest of their child. And in doing so they are superheroes for they give a second incredible chance to the little life they nutured for 9 months. Birth mommies are courageous and I salute them.. 🙂


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