We Don’t Know Your Pain, But Your Loss Is Our Loss

255ff2eb955c106b976cfada42362409I have heard it said that those without children, know the most about parenting. It seems as though the moment we are thrust in the reality of parenthood, we lose all that wisdom that seemed to ooze out whenever we saw a child acting out or a mom/dad attempting to get their little one to do something. Oh how I long for those days where I knew it all and unashamedly would let parents know with my gaze of all-knowing-ness.

But as much as those without children may have attained new heights of enlightenment, the one thing they will never know until they themselves are parents is the almost spiritual connectedness we as parents feel toward other parents and their challenges, successes and losses. I feel this when watching things like America’s Got Talent. I have absolutely no connection to the 12 year old girl who blows the crowd away with her voice, but when I see the love in her parents eyes, the pride, the hope and the joy as she gets that golden buzzer, at this moment I find I connect with them. I am proud, I feel emotion and I’m so happy!

But as much as we can feel joy for one another’s successes, we feel an equal but opposite loss when there is pain. When moments arise where worlds are shattered, time stands still and people battle to breathe as a result of their loss. In these times, our worlds shatter with yours, out time stands still too and we lose our breath with you.

Beautiful friends of ours have suffered such a loss. Their youngest boy was called home to be with Jesus at just 5 years old. Questions will exist, but no answer that will satisfy the need for understanding. The only peace we can hold to is the knowledge that he is loved, changed peoples lives forever and is now home with Jesus.

I look at my children and the thought of their pain crushes me. It staggers my steps and renders me  breathless. My dear friends, our hearts break for you, this is a pain that we can’t imagine. How you are able to simply place one step in front of the other is a miracle in itself. How you are able to still lead your girls through their own pain and grief and still manage to navigate your own loss is a tribute to your strength. Your family is hurting and as little encouragement as it is, we hurt with you and wish we could wipe away every tear and turn back the clock.

Your pain is in my view the heaviest burden anyone can be asked to shoulder and it is best understood by God himself. He feels what you are feeling now and at one point must have walked the same path that you are about to journey. My only encouragement is that you take him with you on this journey and allow him to lift your chin when the weight of your tears cause you to bow to the pain. Allow him to be the wind at your back when the storms of grief demand that you succumb to your reality. Allow him to be the wings that allow you to rise each time you stumble and trust in his strength as  your journey demands that you take back all that the enemy has stolen.

We are walking with you, when you need encouragement, we will provide the words. When you feel alone and darkness is pressing down on you, know you are being carried by our prayers. The enemy has come to steal and bring death, But we have hope in a God that has given life in it’s fullness. He is able to turn even this tragedy to good.

But right now, it is your time to mourn. It is time for your family to grieve. It is time for tears, knowing He will collect each and every one of them. Today there is a darkness, tomorrow will be dark and so will the day after that. But I pray there will come a day where your pain becomes rejoicing, where the memories cause joy to rise in your heart, replacing the pain. One day, and hopefully not too far off, you will awake from this nightmare with such a great sense of thankfulness because you have such a love, you have memories of such joy and you rest in such peace, knowing that your little warrior prince is resting in the arms of his father God and waiting for Mommy, Daddy and his sisters to experience the joy he is experiencing right now.

Bless you, we love you, we cry with you and one day, I hope to hear all about your little champion and see the tears cresting over the joy as it shines from your faces for having known him.


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