The last couple of months have been filled with a sense of impending doom for many in the adoption community. From would be adoptive parents concerned over the uncertainties of adoption laws and 12th-hour covert changes to policies, to social workers who practically are working tirelessly at jobs that may not exist in the coming months, we are experiencing a reality in South Africa that has many questioning “what is actually happening?”
Much has been written on the topic and excellent articles such as this one by Robyn Wolfson Vorster have expanded in clear detail on the facts, the concerns and perhaps some of the reasoning behind the shift in policy. So today I am not going to reinvent the wheel by writing what has already been so clearly presented before.
So this past week, the world found itself taking note of a unique holiday. This holiday was not in remembrance of the fallen, the brave warriors of the past, some great festival or battle or even a remarkable time in history which stands as a line in the sand where we see a massive contrast between the before and after pictures. This was a day, which seeks to raise awareness for something happening now and something we will be challenged by, probably until the end of time. The day seeks to raise awareness for adoption, it’s need, it’s challenges, it’s tragic past and hopefully beautiful future where the pain of a history is redeemed and given tomorrows healing.
Hank Fortener, the architect behind #WORLDADOPTIONDAY had this to say about the origins this holiday: Continue reading
Our lives are flooded with stories and situations that cause anxiety to rise. We live in a country where fear has become the daily special on our menu of emotions. Sometimes we just need to speak truth to lies. The thing causing us to fear may be real, but fear in itself, lies. It causes us to doubt irrationally, to question unnecessarily, to let go of what we know to be true. It is a counterfeit reality that seeks to rob us of our hopes, our dreams, our destiny and purpose.
Like Darkness that flees when brought into the presence of light, so fear is banished when presented with the truth. Let The Truth, encourage you today.
I sat there holding my wife’s hand, the door opened and led by the hand of his older brother, our first adoptive son entered the room. He took each step without knowing, without thinking, resting in the hope that those he had come to know as family in his first year were doing their best, were protecting him, were sending him home.
I stood there in awe as this beautiful little boy conquered the distance between us and landed in our arms. My heart was full, my emotions responding like the explosion of a fireworks display. My son was home, the boy we had prayed for, the one we longed for, the champion who had risen above all th e challenges he had faced was about to cross the finish line and we were celebrating with tears, with joy and with an overwhelming sense that the enemy of orphanhood had been defeated.
One day they will arrive. Without celebration, applause, smiles or a hope. They enter the world by the hand of a hero who chose to give life and extend blessing to another family. But there is no time to celebrate, this is a time of great loss. Tears form and fall, not out of joy but from grief. Thoughts of regret, remorse, pain judgment fill her mind as she reluctantly releases her greatest gift to another. The grief, the poverty of mind, of situation and heart have led her to this day, a dark day, the darkest day. She holds only to a hope, a hope that flickers and settles her soul, gently encouraging her that he will be safe, he will survive, He will succeed, he will love and be greatly loved. Continue reading
8 Years ago we began a journey. It was a journey of discovery, a journey with highs and lows but as with all journeys, it starts a process that seems to show that when one ends another begins.
8 Years ago we started dreaming and planning to make adoption a part of who we are and how we grow our family. Today, with two adoptions under our belt and while busy with a third, we are continually amazed at how the process of giving a family to child may seem to bless the child the most, but actually, it is the family who receives the greatest blessing and honour of being able to extend love to another in a way that profoundly changes everything about everyones lives. We are truly honoured to have the love of our children, no matter how they enter our hearts!
Today we are also blessed, as the first family assisted by the The Father Heart Fund is about to become a reality. A special woman is about to become an incredible mom and a little girl is about to be grafted into the hearts of Many. Continue reading
Once upon a time we were sold a beautiful lie. We were sold the idea that for all our works and effort the highest prize that may be obtained is a life of comfort. A life where I find comfort in my home, my job, my income, my possessions, my faith, my family and many others.
This is not a lie because these things don’t bring comfort as they do! It is a lie because for us to have this comfort, it requires that either everyone has found it, we can’t see that others have not found it or that we don’t really care whether comfort has been found by others.
How can anyone ever be comfortable knowing that so many live in complete discomfort? Waking up hungry, alone, parentless, futureless, hopeless, in pain, in depression, in slavery, in darkness. The truth should cause us to realise that we can’t accept comfort when so many live without it! Continue reading
Sitting with a group of 16 students earlier today, I was amazed to find that no less than 11 cultures were represented. These ranged from Twsana, Zulu, British, Italian, Jewish, Afrikaans, American to name but a few. It was an energizing experience as we discussed some unique traditions and practices from the various backgrounds represented.
Last week we were treated to a barrage of racially inspired or fuelled incidences, from hair styles, babies compared to dogs to inappropriate words. South Africa never ceases to stretch the boundaries of what should be seen as ignorant/foolish comment. I sat listening to a radio show where one particular caller took it upon himself to vividly depict what mark Twain meant when he said “Better to Remain Silent and Be Thought a Fool than to Speak and Remove All Doubt” Continue reading
I am currently reading a book at the moment entitled The Spirit of Adoption: Winning the battle for the children. It raises some important questions and recounts some crucial events in history, one of which is the famous American case of Roe vs Wade which legalized abortion in the first trimester of pregnancy and how Norma McCorvey, the plaintiff in that case became a pro-life activist after realising that Abortion wasn’t about ‘products of conception’. It wasn’t about ‘missed periods’. It was about children being killed in their mother’s wombs.
I read this article written on the It’s Time event and felt I needed to respond. Have a read because it has some points and truths that we cannot ignore:
Post-Apartheid South Africa: The Missed Zacchaeus Moment by the Christian Beneficiaries of Apartheid
I find so much of what you wrote to be true. We as the church, the christians, the Christian beneficiaries are doing too little. Your suggestion of having an “it’s time” moment in 1994 is spot on, where financially we gave of ourselves to benefit the true victims of apartheid, the children of those who continue to suffer. Or perhaps the many other moments you spoke of when we should’ve stood up and said “it’s time”. We have lost credibility in many circles, we have missed opportunities to stand alongside victims because of their suffering, not simply because it’s spilling over into my yard now.
I find myself in a unique position. I believe I have a different perspective. I am certain God has allowed me to occupy a space where my voice will find favour with various groups in our beautiful South Africa.
I am fortunate in that I have the opportunity to dream about the futures of my three amazing children. I can occupy my thought life with the hopes and dreams of my sons’ growing into men who stand for what is right and true. Who know when to sit and listen whilst at the same time, confident in their ability to know the times when they must stand with confidence and speak with courage. My beautiful girl brings me such joy, her strength and poise allow me to confidently declare that she will inspire some and she will convict others. She dresses herself with beauty and boldness, and yet she is not even 2.