The Purpose of a Father! Part 2

 Well, here we go with part 2 of the purpose of a Father. Everyday it seems I fall in my pursuit of perfection as a Dad, but do you know what? That’s fine, I know whose I am and I know I am a new creation, righteous, cleansed and with these truths at my side I will press on forgetting all the mistakes that lie behind me. I will keep pursuing my Fathers heart in this area, and I believe the last eight purposes are well connected with Gods heart for Fathering.

Again, this is not a fully comprehensive list, but it’s a good start, a good measuring tool with which to gauge where you are as a father, and where you feel God wants you to be.

Here we go, the Purpose of a Father is:

  1. To create a place of safety.
  2. To set the atmosphere.
  3. To love his children’s Mom.
  4. To pray for his wife, children and marriage.
  5. To set the example that you must live what you speak.
  6. To raise warrior princes and beautiful princesses.
  7. To set the example of what God intended relations to be.
  8. To create focus.

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Unbelievable Mercy!

Wow, its been nearly two weeks since we last connected, I’ve been meaning to make time but to no avail. Today was going to be the same but I thought if I don’t get out and write, it will be another week before I know it.

These last 2 weeks have been trying to say the least. The weekend before last we were on our way church when my wife started have extreme stomach cramps, she said this was not normal and we needed to go to the hospital. We raced to our local casualty ward and they rushed her into the examination room, she was in such pain but I had to fill out forms.

After what seemed like a novel and a half I was able to go through and see her. Our son was with his Grandparents by this time so we could focus on each other. After a few opinions it was decided to give her a CT scan. We eventually made our way through to radiology and had the scan done.

As a side point, I know the doctors are more concerned with our physical well-being than our emotional state at this point, but it sure would have made things easier had they been a little lighter handed with me, but hey, I suppose I understand.

We were then taken into the trauma casualty after watching my wife faint and look as close to death without dying as I’d ever seen a person. The doctor sat us down and said in a calm but surgical way that she was sorry it was not good news. Yup, I haven’t said what was wrong as I at this point still did not know. Eventually they began to explain that my wife was pregnant but that they thought it was an Ectoptic pregnancy, which basically means she is pregnant but the little guy/girl hadn’t made the full journey to the womb. Whats more the fetus had attached in one of her fallopian tubes and as growth occurred it ruptured her tube, this meant there was around a litre of blood in her abdomen. So there we were, pregnant, unbeknownst to us and my wife was suffering from internal bleeding. Later that evening only, they operated and removed the ruptured tube, and my beautiful wife was left to recover and we now had to start processing what had just happened.

WE HAD BEEN PREGNANT!

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LOVE

What must it have been like, to exist as God no less, and watch as your son was being beaten, mocked, abused, jeered at, hated, spat on, thrown away, tortured and then murdered? Yes murdered.

The definition: The unlawful, intentional killing of another human being with the intent to kill.

Unlawful, because, He broke no laws, he was and is sinless, he had to be, otherwise He would not have measured up to being a perfect sacrifice.

Intentional, obviously.

Killing, obviously.

Human being? Well he had to be, you can’t kill God, and He needed to die to be offered as a sacrifice and regain the authority for us as a man that Adam lost as a man when he disobeyed in the Garden.

I look at my son, when he sleeps, when he’s playing, crying, laughing, sitting, standing and every moment in between, and I am filled with love, it overpowers me, it permeates my being and drips from my pores. How did God watch as His Son was put to death, for a group of people that for the most part, would never truly appreciate the sacrifice? I shudder when my son bumps his head, what was God’s expression when Jesus was whipped, spat on and brutally tortured?

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The Purpose of a Father! Part 1

I’ve been formulating my own little list of the tasks or missions that are attached with the mantle “Father”. I’ve been tweeting them for the past week and so I thought I’d elaborate on my weeks’ tweets and then add them to a page on the site which I will call The purpose of a Father, so here we go.

Fathering is hard, for us anyway, and the job description exhaustive. I only need to look at my week and I come up with the following job titles that I held:

  • Comforter
  • Protector
  • Educator
  • Cleaner
  • Financer
  • Guidance counsellor
  • Pastor
  • Chef
  • Personal trainer etc

The list seems to never end, but then again neither does the joy I feel when my son looks at me and asks for a hug, a few minutes of my time to read him a book or to play cars with him. This past week I looked at 7 purposes which for me are real necessities in my life as a Dad. The 7 purposes from this week were:

  1. To validate masculinity and manhood.
  2. To instill a sense of value.
  3. To build up.
  4. To create boundaries within which his children have enough freedom to explore, but also enough safety so that the     consequences are learning experiences and not death sentences.
  5. To provide emotionally, educationally and financially.
  6. To be the first to praise and the last to criticise.
  7. To be a gate-keeper.

Lets look at some of these that I find need more focus today.

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No matter the cost

So this week we had to take our son to the doctor and were able to add our little bit to the pharmaceutical company’s bottom line, good times!

I sat there in the pharmacy wondering how come these little bottles cost so much, why was the price so high, why couldn’t the medicine be cheaper, especially since it was for such a good cause, my son’s health.

But here’s the beautiful thing, at no time during my contemplations on the conspiracy that is the pricing of medicine did I even question whether my son was worth the cost.

Not a fibre in my being even twitched at the belief that there is no cost too high and no price not worth paying for the health of my son, I would pay anything to save him, even if the price was unfair. The fact is my desire to have him healthy, better, saved, overrides any question as to the cost. The reason being, LOVE!

God showed this in that he loved us so much that he gave us his only son, the cost, massive, too high? Perhaps, but no matter, if it meant his children were to be saved, then the price was worth paying!

A Father’s heart is found in this, even though the cost is to high, the price unworthy of payment, we pay!

The imbalance in the world today comes from the selfishness of Fathers who see the needs, hear the cries but choose not to pay the price!

Our Father paid the ultimate price without blinking! Shouldn’t we take His lead?

Wanna go for a run?

A few weeks ago I had the pleasure of connecting with a young man with a great passion for Jesus. As he spoke of his journey and how he has come to where he is now I was filled with compassion for him and many like him.

One of the challenges glaringly apparent in the world today is the freedom by which the term Father is banded about.

Let me give you my definition:

To the Man who lavishes, unsparingly, his love, his time, his wealth, his heart, his life, his hopes and dreams. To the Man who stands and watches over, who guards and gives counsel, who catches tears and brings correction. To the Man who loves the Mother of his child, who raises her up, who encourages and honours her. To the Man who guides and provides, who laughs and cries, who picks up when there’s failure and raises up on shoulders when there is victory. To this Man shall we award the mark of a father. Through his sacrifice, shall the sons and daughters be set free to run ahead and lay claim to riches the Man only dreamt about.

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Protection

My son was sick last week and there was a possibility he’d have to go to hospital, but thankfully he responded well to meds and now doesn’t have to. I sat across the desk of his doctor as she told us this and there was this enormous urgency for me to take it all away.

It makes me think, Jesus had to die for us to appease the wrath of God, to fulfill the need for justice, to stand in the gap, to be the perfect sacrifice for our sin once and for all, however you view his death, whether as the fulfillment of prophecy, for atonement or simply to get us back on track, the one thing I’ve never considered is that He wanted to take the punishment.

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Responsibility

his morning I heard that a prominent hotel heiress was arrested on being in possession of what seems to be cocaine. The report went on to say that there would be a punishment of rehabilitation and community service. Both laudable answers to help a person in need.

The difficulty I am having with this is the following. Had this person been a no-body, a shadow, a person merely existing and using to make it through another day, would the punishment have been the same. What if the person was ‘bad’ and sold, pushed and used, would the answer have been the same.

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Break my heart!

What a year!! This year has been one of those glorious adventures, both painful and beautiful, unforgettable and nightmarish. One of the most amazing things that I have experienced is God’s ability to take your life, your cares, your dreams, your desires and your goals and shift them by the softening of your heart. I have experienced a transition from feeling sorrow for others in my own capacity to having my heart break for the things that break His.

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