Well, here we go, part 2.
I think its important to note that as much as our children will need grace from both God and ourselves, we will need grace from them. We are not perfect, we will get it wrong, sometimes horribly. But I believe that so long as the driving force behind your actions is a Godly love for you child, a deep desire to see them grow into all that God has planned and to not let anything get in the way of seeing Gods plan for their lives unfold before them, even if it is themselves, then we will be able to correct any miscalculations in our course as parents.
My Dad didn’t hit us as children, or at least I can’t remember, but he had a look that stopped us dead. The mere thought or warning of this look made us behave, well it made me behave, I can’t speak for my brother. But, even that is not enough as it is an external motivator. We need to train our children to be internally motivated to what is right, so that even when everything around them is saying do this or do that, their default setting, their point of reference is an internal compass informed by what they have learnt.
A few weeks ago I wrote a blog entitled “Stop naffhousing the kids!” I had some questions regarding where is correction dealt with in the bible, so here we go.
I have been reading a book by Larry Tomczak called God, the Rod and your child’s bod, and I have been greatly encouraged and stretched and educated and, and and and…
I believe in smacking, but have been enlightened and encouraged by the fact that, it’s not really about smacking at all, it’s about biblical correction in the context of a loving relationship between parent and child. All who see and have experienced “smacking” and have become resentful, angry, disillusioned, frustrated, hurt, abused etc, must understand that their experience is not biblical correction but being at the receiving end of someone who had authority over you, expressing their idea of correction, not in love, but in hurt, retaliation and anger.
So, let’s get into it. I have taken many of the ideas below from Larry’s book, so get hold of one!
“IT’S BETTER TO BUILD CHILDREN THAN TO REPAIR MEN!”
Well lets expand on the term naff-housing. I am not sure if it is in any dictionary, so in order to keep things professional what I will do is give my personal interpretation of what it means to naff-house.
Naffhouse-pronounced naff house-to treat like or make out as if one is in need of treatment that is unsuitable in terms of age, level of responsibility or calling.
That should do it!
I’ll get back to this but first some background. I am a guys guy, a mans man, but I do have feelings, I love my wife, my son and my God. He has created me to Father and mentor, to be a husband and man who the world needs. To be a bastion of His definition of what He intended men to be. That is what I am aiming for. But let me say at the outset that love never fails, I abhor abuse, detest unfair treatment of children but discipline, true Godly discipline does not even resemble the two.
I love my son with all my heart, yup I said it, heart. If you think using the words ‘love’ and ‘heart’ in the same sentence is a bit squishy, well then, get over it.
I am intending to raise a man who will stand for and where others crumble, a man who speaks the truth when lies and half-truths are safer, a man who will stare into the storm of all that God hates and declare he knows His God, he loves his God and nothing short of God Himself will move him from his resolve to stand for what he believes. That is my goal. God willing I will see this.